The "Invisible Rules" of 30

A year ago in August, I turned 30. As we know, some of our best "I was somewhere I probably shouldn't have been" stories come from our 20s. We're seen as just old enough to be left to our own devices, but young enough to still end up in plenty of trouble.

After all, we've only just began our lift without our parents hovering and teaching us about the world from their point of view. After ten years of "trying" to figure it out, picking up bias about what people in their 30s should look like, I found myself doing a total 180 just months before turning 30.

It was like I had picked up these invisible rules of what I should at least, "appear" like once I turned 30. What I should act like and this quiet whisper that told me "now that you're thirty, others will be watching your every move".

After a year of trying to turn into the, "Ideal 30 year old", I've learned somethings I want to share.

• Changing your wardrobe won't change your mindset, but it will make you question your identity.

As someone who never tried to seem grown, changing my wardrobe to be more "grown and sexy" (because those are typically the kind of clubs you would get in), really caused me to question what I was doing it for.

It made me feel like I was a different person, but nothing had changed from my 20s. I was and still am the 20 something who watches anime and wallflower'es when I have to meet new people. Just with more experience.

• Changing your mindset only works if you aren't forcing it. Don't try to become, your "polar opposite"

  • Forcing yourself to try and be "wise" for your age will only make it worse. You'll do more harm than help to your mental health if you reach 30 and decide that everything you knew before isn't the experience you think it is.

  • it is experience, your experience, your failures and successes can help others succeed. Don't try and bury your 20s because you turned 30. Whether you tell the experiences proudly or keep them under wraps is up to you, but don't force yourself to be the polar opposite of what you were in your 30s.

While it feels like you should have everything together in your 30s, you've only been an adult for ten years and the first ten years were about learning to fail and what could succeed. It was about running full force and allowing yourself to hit your head when you fell.

And if you're starting your 30s at a deficit from your 20s, it just means you had a helluva time and more learning experiences than others. They were worth it and in the long run, you have expanding further than some others. Give yourself credit and breathe. Your thirties should be the recovery and get back up from your 20s.

You should learn about you, yourself, in your 30s. Most likely you spent your 20s around others, but now your 30s are about yourself. Give yourself grace and get back out there!

Let's remember to breathe,

Sheridan