Overthinking + Bipolar combo

As a chronic overthinker who has found that I thrived in food hospitality, let me say - I once believed that overthinking was a superpower. To be able to predict what a table could want before they even ask, I was one of the best.

People who knew me would rarely have to ask because I would be able to "predict" what they could possibly want - at least from me.

That was until I was met with the unthinkable last year. That's when I realized no matter what I did there would were somethings I just couldn't serve. Some requests that I couldn't fulfill. Some people that I couldn't guess.

It has left me with an unshakeable fear of dealing with people. My mind now resides in the Mach 10 every time I am presented with a person, whether I know them or don't.

After a very "Boogey" from Nightmare before Christmas mind moment earlier this year, I was diagnosed with bipolar. Which (*cough cough*) thinking back on how I've been through my life-

It makes sense.

My temper, at my worst, was something out of a book and then when I'd have panic attacks. Let's just say, gut wrenching and unbelievable to onlookers, especially when - after about thirty minutes... Talk about the world collapsing but seared back together with a smile.

Anyway, back to current times. Hearing this diagnosis helped to momentarily calm something in my mind, but still the fear - the range of overthinking still exists.

Example) Everyone in my house hates me and they're just tolerating me because I'm injured.

Result) Me internally freaking out and trying to do more than I am capable

Things to though extreme ranges. My bipolar hypes up my overthinking like the little demon that sits in the corner waiting for its opportunity. The devil's advocate of my worse nightmares.

Living with it can be scary and suffocating, but everyday with careful management it becomes slightly easier.

Should I do a list of the bipolar x overthinking extremes? I'm joking.

Once I know how to better manage it, you guys will definitely know.

Keep breathing life into your writing,

Sheridan